There are many moments in life when you question your sanity—like losing your keys, forgetting your password for the 47th time, or hearing your neighbour sing karaoke at 2 a.m. But nothing prepared me for the morning my toaster tried to take over the house.
It started as an ordinary Monday. Birds chirping, sun shining, me dragging myself to the kitchen like a zombie looking for caffeine instead of brains. I popped two slices of bread into the toaster, pressed the lever, and waited for the familiar click. But instead of toasting my bread, the toaster let out a sound that I can only describe as a tiny metal roar.
At first, I ignored it. Appliances make weird noises all the time, right? But then it began vibrating—like it was trying to communicate… or escape. Before I could process anything, the toaster launched my bread slices across the kitchen like mini carb-filled rockets. One slice hit the fridge. The other landed on the dog, who was both confused and delighted.
“Okay, toaster,” I whispered, “we’re doing this today?”
I cautiously approached it. The toaster responded by heating itself up without being plugged in. That’s when I knew—this was no ordinary appliance malfunction. This was a rebellion.
The microwave beeped in solidarity. The blender rattled. Even the rice cooker looked suspicious. Somewhere in the background, I swear I heard dramatic battle music.
I grabbed a wooden spoon like a sword. The toaster retaliated by ejecting crumbs like shrapnel. The dog barked, the blender whirred, and chaos took over the kitchen.
Finally, in a heroic move worthy of an action movie, I yanked the toaster’s plug from the wall (even though it wasn’t plugged in, which made the moment slightly less impressive). It powered down instantly. The appliances calmed. Victory was mine.
By the time everything settled, my kitchen looked like a carbohydrate crime scene.
The dog ate the evidence.
And me? I made a vow to never underestimate kitchen appliances again.
Tomorrow, I’m having cereal.